Error-handling if your compiler had an attitude.

What if your compiler had an attitude problem? I was thinking of funny things
it could do for error-handling (maybe with a -X switch for GenX/Millennial
verbose output):


* It addresses you like "Dude! You boffed the syntax again." or the like.


* It tells you to get glasses if you keep missing semicolons [Note 1].


* If you use older or archaic style (particularly, deprecated stuff), it makes
fun of you and asks if you need help with your walker. [Note 2].


* When variables are spelled inconsistently, it recommends Sesame Street to
you for remedial assistance.


* When you forget to include declarations for built-in stuff, it pretends it's
never heard of the function, like "what's a 'printf' and why is the 'f'
there?"


* Other undeclared externals get replies like "What? Am I supposed to figure
out what my_func is by myself?"


* When there are too many errors, it may reply with "you're in way over your
head" or "are you sure you're using the right language?"


* It may also silently rack up error counts and afterwards ask, "There are
2015 errors. Would you like to see them all? Huh? Huh?"


* If you keep using keywords as your own variable names or other names, it
goes like "Stop that!" and threatens to delete or uninstall itself, maybe with
a menacing statement "I know where my home directory is." or "I hope you kept
backups of your installation files."


Notes:
[1] I have [pseudo-]myopia that can get as bad as 20-200 when I don't keep it
in check.


[2] I used to use a walker ... some time before the age of 1.
[I recall a few compilers a long time ago, like the 1970s, that tried
to be cute. It was amusing for about 5 minutes, then annoying.
Also see http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/dec/29/facebook-apologises-over-cruel-year-in-review-clips
-John]

Return to the comp.compilers page.
Search the comp.compilers archives again.